All I Can Do Is Shake My Head Vol 3

Back!!!!! Caught you looking for the same thing...Ooops, went into a Chuck D mode but I am back with another installment of my blog. (By the way, please check out my daughter's blog, "Made Anew in God's Eyes" at sbmaige.blogspot.com. Good, good reading!) Anyhoo, on to my thoughts.

This blog, I am shaking my head at myself. After many false starts about getting my personal health together, many embarrassing failures on the subject and many public proclamations on it, it is truly time for me to do something. After a enlightening discussion with my wife last night, I have to take command of my health. This is the biggest battle that I have to face and I have failed miserably to this point. So what is my excuse now??? That is it, there is no excuse. It is time to do what is right and live healthier. God will bless it. I just have to execute it. So pray for a brotha to be able to do this day by day. God clean this temple and make it worthy for your service.  Just my .02 cents....

All I Can Do is Shake My Head Vol 2

Ok, it is 6:40 AM CST on a rainy Saturday morning. I am up at work and it is quiet enough for me to implement another installment of "All I Can Do is Shake My Head" (Please also go check out my wonderful daughter's blog at http://sbmaige.blogspot.com/. We thank you!!!!)

Ok, I will preface all of my thoughts with this disclaimer, I HATE SHOPPING. I have worked in retail, I know many shoppers, I even know where the local malls and shopping establishments are. But I truly hate the physical act of shopping. Personally, give me a laptop, Amazon and Craigslist, I am good. But yesterday's Black Friday festivities was completely off the chain. I read on MSNBC of at least 8 violent acts at Walmarts alone yesterday. Really folks, we supposed to live in a civilized society and we are throwing down at the Walmart over an Xbox controller. I thought the economy was bad and we are in a recession, but we are camping out in front of the Best Buy on Tuesday evening to get the prime spot for Friday. Workers are cutting more hours short on their holiday to put up with a herd of spoiled brat, actually broke, trifling, sorry customers who are really thinking they are getting a deal.  It is amazing to see people beat each other down for a supposed bargain. Really, all of this for Christmas??? Good God we have gotten this twisted.

Where in the birth story of Christ was a Battle Royale Cage Match at Walmart included? When Joseph and Mary tried to pick up diapers for Jesus, did they get pepper sprayed when they drove up to the Walmart late that birth day evening? Man we have totally jacked up the Christmas season. Don't you just love it how we have made Jesus one of the biggest money making ventures on the planet? It is sad really.It is a season of giving all right, giving all your money to the man. Just my .02 cents worth and shaking my head.

Truly Better Than This.....

Finally, I am back here...Finally, a little peace and quiet. Finally, a chance to write. Just some thoughts.

As I have been working and being a taxi, the Lord has been working on me with something. He is drilling to me that I am truly better than my current state. I AM TRULY BETTER THAN THIS! This was a piece of information that I thought I had already knew, but what I am finding out, I didn't know as much as I thought. I have accepted mediocrity in all aspects of my life. I have accepted the path of least resistance. I have accepted complacency. I have accepted the garbage that has been told to me that my drive to be better is "obsessive." I have accepted who I am not....A fat, lazy slob.

I am more than a glorified taxi cab.

I am more than a wallet.

I am more that a food disposer.

I am more than a being that takes up space.

I am more than a corporate worker.

I am more than a I.T. Support guy.

I am more than a jack of all trades, master of none.

I am more than a DJ.

I am more that this....

In the journey of God's destiny for me, I have to accept the fact that I am more than the human expectation. I have to work to meet GOD's expectations for me. This doesn't give me the license to act and think like I am better than someone else. But this does give me the license and power to go after that destiny God has for me; with the vigor and fervor that the Holy Spirit will provide. Letting go is a great thing as long as you let go of those things that are truly needed to be removed. I have deleted critical files from my system, which in turn has crippled me. The Lord has been slowly bring me full circle. I thank Him for it too. It is truly time for my beast mode to be activated in all aspects of my life. I am a aggressive person by nature. Somewhere, I let that go....When I did, I hampered me. I changed the way God wired me. I mess with systems that didn't need messing with. In turn, it takes so long to fix it...I thank God that He is making the repairs. I need to stick with computers.

Views from a Hospital Bed

It is truly amazing how fortunes can change in a matter of hours. On this past Wednesday, I went to our Prime Time Bible Study at the church, went to lunch with my lovely wife and went home to catch a nap before I had to go into work later on that evening. I left the house to go meet my wife for dinner before work, I began to feel really bad. Chest hurting, sweating, sick to my stomach, pain radiating everywhere. We get to the restaurant, I look like a hot mess and my wife makes a play call to take me to the hospital. That was Wednesday night. It is now Saturday afternoon and I am still here in the hospital.

During the past few days, the good folks here have tested my heart and cardiovascular system. I have even performed stress testing which shows how healthy my heart is under stressful conditions. To God be the glory, my heart is in great shape and as in the words of the cardiologist, "You have no reason to be the size you are. When you get out, don't keep working at it, WORK HARDER!!!" So why am I still here??? The doctors have kept me here because of the fact that my CK levels in my blood stream are about 40 times higher than normal. The program now is to flush my system out until those levels go down. This has been a slow proposition due to the fact that I was a tired, dehydrated mess when I stepped foot in here.

This experience has been a difficult one because in my short 38 years, I have never spent anytime in a hospital. Sure, I have been in the ER plenty for various injuries, but never a stay. This has been nerve racking and tiring to say the least. My spirit has not been the best, I have been pretty grumpy and I will state that I have been an emotional wreck and roller coaster. In the midst of all that, the spiritual battle has decided to happen in my proverbial front yard. I have said some things that I have shouldn't have said. I have had thoughts that I should not have had. I have had bitterness where bitter had no place...All to see that none, I mean none of those things that were presented to me, most that I had suckerly accepted were true. Job went through this same thing while he was being tested. His complaints in the midst of his trials were also false. God forbid, Job had it rougher than I currently do.

Yet in the midst of all this, it is just like the Lord to absolutely stop and park my behind to really deal with me. It is a shame and a scandal that He has to do me like this to get in a word in edge wise. I know I have to get my quiet time back with Him. God truly has a lot to say to us and He wants to talk too. I guess we run like we do, sometimes to try to avoid the conversation all together. Anyhoo, even though I was disappointed this morning when the doctor told me that I will not be going home today, I thank God for this quiet time that I am having with Him now. This is the most peaceful I have been in months. Possibly years.

Before I be quiet, I must say this. I thank God for my wife, Caretha. She has been by my side through all of this. (She is by my side through everything.) I have said somethings to her that were not only stupid...Lets just say really stupid. I know we have already gone through it and I apologized but I want to apologize in written form. Sweetness, I love you and I am sorry for being the rear end of a donkey. Please forgive me. I also want to thank my daughters, Shacora and Kelsey, for loving me and sticking by me. My love also goes out to my family (Mom, Dad, Judy, Teresa) extended family, church family and friends. Ok, enough with the Grammy speech...I just had to give my shout outs. I will be outta here soon Lord's willing; better than ever.

One love....