Seeing the Birth of a New Year

Before we get started, please go check out my daughter's blog, "Made Anew In God's Eyes" @ sbmaige.blogspot.com. Excellent reading from a excellent woman. Go see for yourself. On with the writing here.

Barring all of the normal cliches about the new year, it is truly a blessing that we are even here to see 2012. Amazing to say the least. The new year provides everyone hope, provides a platform for change. I am no different, I pray that my grind is different. Let me explain.

I am finding that my life is going into a transition mode and that is good. I am at a point that I can concentrate on a badly neglected project. The project is me. Not saying this in a selfish way, but I am leaning on God for the restoration of me. The work is going to be hard, I would imagine brutal in fact. Yet I look forward to the work. It is needed, overdue in fact. If God can create us out of nothing, I can truly imagine what He can do with me. 

This restoration will help me physically, spiritually, in my marriage, my relationship with my girls and the rest of my family. I am looking for renewal, restoration and improvement in 2012. God is good...Nuff said. Just my .02 cents.

All I Can Do Is Shake My Head Vol 3

Back!!!!! Caught you looking for the same thing...Ooops, went into a Chuck D mode but I am back with another installment of my blog. (By the way, please check out my daughter's blog, "Made Anew in God's Eyes" at sbmaige.blogspot.com. Good, good reading!) Anyhoo, on to my thoughts.

This blog, I am shaking my head at myself. After many false starts about getting my personal health together, many embarrassing failures on the subject and many public proclamations on it, it is truly time for me to do something. After a enlightening discussion with my wife last night, I have to take command of my health. This is the biggest battle that I have to face and I have failed miserably to this point. So what is my excuse now??? That is it, there is no excuse. It is time to do what is right and live healthier. God will bless it. I just have to execute it. So pray for a brotha to be able to do this day by day. God clean this temple and make it worthy for your service.  Just my .02 cents....

All I Can Do is Shake My Head Vol 2

Ok, it is 6:40 AM CST on a rainy Saturday morning. I am up at work and it is quiet enough for me to implement another installment of "All I Can Do is Shake My Head" (Please also go check out my wonderful daughter's blog at http://sbmaige.blogspot.com/. We thank you!!!!)

Ok, I will preface all of my thoughts with this disclaimer, I HATE SHOPPING. I have worked in retail, I know many shoppers, I even know where the local malls and shopping establishments are. But I truly hate the physical act of shopping. Personally, give me a laptop, Amazon and Craigslist, I am good. But yesterday's Black Friday festivities was completely off the chain. I read on MSNBC of at least 8 violent acts at Walmarts alone yesterday. Really folks, we supposed to live in a civilized society and we are throwing down at the Walmart over an Xbox controller. I thought the economy was bad and we are in a recession, but we are camping out in front of the Best Buy on Tuesday evening to get the prime spot for Friday. Workers are cutting more hours short on their holiday to put up with a herd of spoiled brat, actually broke, trifling, sorry customers who are really thinking they are getting a deal.  It is amazing to see people beat each other down for a supposed bargain. Really, all of this for Christmas??? Good God we have gotten this twisted.

Where in the birth story of Christ was a Battle Royale Cage Match at Walmart included? When Joseph and Mary tried to pick up diapers for Jesus, did they get pepper sprayed when they drove up to the Walmart late that birth day evening? Man we have totally jacked up the Christmas season. Don't you just love it how we have made Jesus one of the biggest money making ventures on the planet? It is sad really.It is a season of giving all right, giving all your money to the man. Just my .02 cents worth and shaking my head.

Truly Better Than This.....

Finally, I am back here...Finally, a little peace and quiet. Finally, a chance to write. Just some thoughts.

As I have been working and being a taxi, the Lord has been working on me with something. He is drilling to me that I am truly better than my current state. I AM TRULY BETTER THAN THIS! This was a piece of information that I thought I had already knew, but what I am finding out, I didn't know as much as I thought. I have accepted mediocrity in all aspects of my life. I have accepted the path of least resistance. I have accepted complacency. I have accepted the garbage that has been told to me that my drive to be better is "obsessive." I have accepted who I am not....A fat, lazy slob.

I am more than a glorified taxi cab.

I am more than a wallet.

I am more that a food disposer.

I am more than a being that takes up space.

I am more than a corporate worker.

I am more than a I.T. Support guy.

I am more than a jack of all trades, master of none.

I am more than a DJ.

I am more that this....

In the journey of God's destiny for me, I have to accept the fact that I am more than the human expectation. I have to work to meet GOD's expectations for me. This doesn't give me the license to act and think like I am better than someone else. But this does give me the license and power to go after that destiny God has for me; with the vigor and fervor that the Holy Spirit will provide. Letting go is a great thing as long as you let go of those things that are truly needed to be removed. I have deleted critical files from my system, which in turn has crippled me. The Lord has been slowly bring me full circle. I thank Him for it too. It is truly time for my beast mode to be activated in all aspects of my life. I am a aggressive person by nature. Somewhere, I let that go....When I did, I hampered me. I changed the way God wired me. I mess with systems that didn't need messing with. In turn, it takes so long to fix it...I thank God that He is making the repairs. I need to stick with computers.

Views from a Hospital Bed

It is truly amazing how fortunes can change in a matter of hours. On this past Wednesday, I went to our Prime Time Bible Study at the church, went to lunch with my lovely wife and went home to catch a nap before I had to go into work later on that evening. I left the house to go meet my wife for dinner before work, I began to feel really bad. Chest hurting, sweating, sick to my stomach, pain radiating everywhere. We get to the restaurant, I look like a hot mess and my wife makes a play call to take me to the hospital. That was Wednesday night. It is now Saturday afternoon and I am still here in the hospital.

During the past few days, the good folks here have tested my heart and cardiovascular system. I have even performed stress testing which shows how healthy my heart is under stressful conditions. To God be the glory, my heart is in great shape and as in the words of the cardiologist, "You have no reason to be the size you are. When you get out, don't keep working at it, WORK HARDER!!!" So why am I still here??? The doctors have kept me here because of the fact that my CK levels in my blood stream are about 40 times higher than normal. The program now is to flush my system out until those levels go down. This has been a slow proposition due to the fact that I was a tired, dehydrated mess when I stepped foot in here.

This experience has been a difficult one because in my short 38 years, I have never spent anytime in a hospital. Sure, I have been in the ER plenty for various injuries, but never a stay. This has been nerve racking and tiring to say the least. My spirit has not been the best, I have been pretty grumpy and I will state that I have been an emotional wreck and roller coaster. In the midst of all that, the spiritual battle has decided to happen in my proverbial front yard. I have said some things that I have shouldn't have said. I have had thoughts that I should not have had. I have had bitterness where bitter had no place...All to see that none, I mean none of those things that were presented to me, most that I had suckerly accepted were true. Job went through this same thing while he was being tested. His complaints in the midst of his trials were also false. God forbid, Job had it rougher than I currently do.

Yet in the midst of all this, it is just like the Lord to absolutely stop and park my behind to really deal with me. It is a shame and a scandal that He has to do me like this to get in a word in edge wise. I know I have to get my quiet time back with Him. God truly has a lot to say to us and He wants to talk too. I guess we run like we do, sometimes to try to avoid the conversation all together. Anyhoo, even though I was disappointed this morning when the doctor told me that I will not be going home today, I thank God for this quiet time that I am having with Him now. This is the most peaceful I have been in months. Possibly years.

Before I be quiet, I must say this. I thank God for my wife, Caretha. She has been by my side through all of this. (She is by my side through everything.) I have said somethings to her that were not only stupid...Lets just say really stupid. I know we have already gone through it and I apologized but I want to apologize in written form. Sweetness, I love you and I am sorry for being the rear end of a donkey. Please forgive me. I also want to thank my daughters, Shacora and Kelsey, for loving me and sticking by me. My love also goes out to my family (Mom, Dad, Judy, Teresa) extended family, church family and friends. Ok, enough with the Grammy speech...I just had to give my shout outs. I will be outta here soon Lord's willing; better than ever.

One love....

All I Can Do is Shake My Head....

You know, I have kept this blog stewing for over a year and my oldest daughter, Shacora, is begging me to become more regular on blogging here so I am going to hold my word and do that. (Oh by the way, please check out Shacora's blog @ http://sbmaige.blogspot.com/ She has a wonderful insight, one that will inspire you as well. I am so proud of her and I love her very much. Now back to the program.) I have had a lot of thoughts going through my head and heart, it has left me really scatterbrained as such. I will try to systematically go through them with different posts. And if I seem scatterbrained then ok...

This Sunday I am going to concentrate on my brothers a bit. How in God's name can anyone take us seriously when we look like we have been stuck in time. We look, act and talk like we are in the 1990's. Our country has elected a black man as President and here we are looking like a crew from the Clinton era. I will admit that I am has hood as they come but there is a time where we have to see things from the eyes of a man. I have been blessed to have grown up in the shadow of good, hard working, family loving, God fearing men. These brothers enjoyed the fellowship of other brothers but not at the expense of their households. Making sure that their house was protected, wives were cherished, kids were raised right, house in order and first and foremost, being led by God, was the mission for these men. They might not have been perfect, but they gave it their best. Truly, are we (my generation and younger) giving it our best? We have fools running around thinking and trying to be thugs, fools running around thinking and trying to be women, fools running around confused, fools running around forgetting that they are husbands, it is amazing and a tribute to God's grace on us that we are still here. My God we can do better, be better and ordained to be better than what we are. We are playing ourselves to be fools, clowns, comedy acts, bottom line, jabronis. I am tired of watching our sisters suffer through the foolish actions of us men. We are so much better that what we are and it is time to bring up our game. Enough fussing, just my .02 cents though.

I Am Really Sick and Tired of How Our Country is Operating

It has been awhile since I have placed a rant here on Facebook.  I have been in sponge mode for the past few months and the political rhetoric and the lack of action in Washington has left mentally and spiritually tired.  My emotions have run the gambit and I would say that it is probably not wise for me to even write due to the fact that I may come off in a jumbled diatribe.  I will start with the straw that broke my back, the Tom Tancredo statements at the Tea Party Convention.

This joker made a case for 'literacy tests' for voters of 'foreign' descent; 'literacy tests' for those who can't speak english.  I shouldn't be surprised but in laymens terms, this guy is arguing to re-establishment of Jim Crow and voting rules pre-Civil Rights Bill of 1964.  Is this the country that the Tea Party claims that they want back???  What is conservative about this???  How does 'literacy tests' keep our taxes and the deficit down???  All the blood that was spilled by people of color and women, just for the fair chance to vote and here comes this clown arguing the re-establishment of 'literacy tests'?  Our citizens SHOULD know this history and yet they sit there and cheer and clap in approval.  Oh, lets bring back lynching and separate but equal while we at it...This is the country that so many people want back.  That is THEIR AMERICA....Nice.

Then there is our government not getting anything done.  One of my fears in the election of President Obama was that he would not get anyone to work with him on any issue.  Really, his own party has helped he become a first term, lame-duck President.  The Democrats are such punks, they won't exercise any leadership at all.  Get something done!!!!  At this rate, I do feel like my vote was wasted, these are the things that I will remember when I go back to the voting booth.  Also, at this point, I don't want to hear what the Republicans have to say because everything they say is for political expediency. It is all about scoring points instead of coming up with solutions with our country's issues.  This goes into my main point of this...

I am really done with the way our politics are going.  Our country is steeped with some many issues; issues that should be worked through by the best and brightest.  I do believe that difference of opinion and variety is good, God love variety as well; look at creation itself.  Both parties are doing the political boxing match, just throwing insults and jabs back and forth, while the working men and women of this country are getting reamed for every dollar they have.  The news channels just keep showing the day to day barbs and we are at or over 10% unemployment. (Even higher for communities of color)  Healthcare costs are skyrocketing, companies are pocketing money instead of hiring, the IRS still wants their cut, a college education is becoming more out of reach for average folks, people are hungry and all our elected leaders can do is go to conferences (pep rallys) throw barbs or just quit the fight all together.  We don't have the best and the brightest in office right now.  Both parties are loaded down with rich idiots, and it is showing.  The change of our country is going to have to come from the grassroots.  Not through political parties, but through people caring about others, like God loves and cares about us.  Maybe I have been a fool, but Caesar and his cronies can have it...(I think political TV and radio coverage will go on my Lent list.)